Breakthrough

Somewhere between this past weekend and today I had a breakthrough.  I woke up this morning and realized I wasn't having a hard time anymore.  It wasn't necessarily caused by something I, myself, did.  It was simply a matter of me finally emotionally settling into my new surroundings.  I woke up feeling refreshed and comfortable with living in a foreign county.  I realized that I had a routine without even knowing it.  Easy tasks such as pulling out my Abono (metro pass) and walking confidently through the school gates had made me feel not only comfortable but empowered.  Instead of worrying about every little thing going wrong while abroad I had mentally taken a deep breath and exhaled.  I felt free today.  I felt like I was walking on air and nothing, (not even the fact that I still haven't received my parent's package that was sent a MONTH ago) was going to get in the way of me feeling content and happy.  A month ago you couldn't have said a single thing to convince me that things would eventually start to look up.  However, today I finally realized that there wasn't going to be some huge event that would suddenly make me change how I was feeling, I simply needed to change my attitude.  And somehow, without me even knowing, my attitude had changed itself.

This is how I feel today (taken in 2008 in San Sebastián, Spain)

I know that every day I won't feel confident with my decision to put my American life on hold to move to a foreign country, but I know that with the opportunity I was given I will try my hardest to make the best of this experience.  Therefore, so when it's all said and done and I have returned back to the U.S. I will look fondly on my second adventure in Spain and feel lucky to have simply gotten the chance to teach abroad.

"Today I know that I cannot control the ocean tides.  I can only 
go with the flow. . . . When I struggle and try to organize the Atlantic 
to my specifications, I sink.  If I flail and thrash and growl and grumble,
 I go under.  But, if I let go and float, I am borne aloft." -Marie Stilkind