Teaching Abroad vs. Studying Abroad

Teaching abroad in Spain, I quickly realized is nothing like studying abroad in Spain.  In the study abroad program everything was taken care of for me and I could simply go about and explore and enjoy the adventure.  Teaching abroad has really challenged me to be independent.  I always thought I was independent, living in Minneapolis alone in my own apartment, having my own car, going to school and paying for everything myself.  But regardless of the things you do to be able to call yourself "independent", its more about the attitude you must have.  Independence requires resilience to be able to adapt to an often scary situation.  Independence in a foreign country really tests ones ability to stay motivated and stay positive.

I guess all I can say is that I'm still trying to get there.  Still trying to get to that point where I can call myself independent once again.  It's been a month and other than simply getting used to my routine and schedule here I haven't done very much.  This is largely due to lack of money and the fact that prior to MOVING to Madrid I had visited this city numerous times because of its proximity to Toledo were I studied in 2008.  I've already seen all the major tourist sites, know how the metro works, visited my fair share of restaurants and bars and gone shopping.  Therefore, I've actually been quite bored.  I feel horrible saying that I'm bored while in such a fascinating European country like Spain but maybe its because I've simply seen myself change from a juvenile to an adult.  I think I have already gone through that whole phase of feeling like my life lacks adventure and therefore NEEDING to do something spontaneous and crazy- like traveling around Spain alone for a month (which I did back in the summer of 2008).  I guess what I'm trying to say, rather unsuccessfully, is that I've grown up.  Instead of idealizing a place in my head like Spain for example, I now see both the positives and the negatives.  I used to have no doubt in my mind that Spain was far superior to any other country in the world and now I know that maybe at that point in my life I was just a different person.  This is not in any way saying that I've "scratched the itch" to travel and explore the world.  Rather now I don't feel like I need to leave my home country for multiple months to do this.  I think now I would be perfectly happy to take a few weeks a year and travel and see places that I've never seen.

I'm not trying to be pessimistic about being in Spain for 8 months.  I'm very lucky and very fortunate and I will do everything I can to fully appreciate this time here so that I don't look back one day and ask myself, "Why did you spend that whole time homesick?  What a waste."  I guess returning to Spain naturally made me realize how lucky I was back home and how I so often took my life and the people in my life for granted.  I've truly developed a new-found pride for being an American and specifically being a Minnesotan- something I spent the better part of my life denying.  I've often found myself daydreaming about snow as well which is something I would never have done even as little as a year ago.  My family was telling me the other week about the first winter snowfall and how they were all cozy in their house, drinking hot chocolate and listening to Christmas music.  All I could think was that that is what I wanted to do too and how regardless of the long and often cold Minnesota winters, I love Minnesota.  I now can say with certainty that Minnesota is my home and that I will never feel more home than when I'm back there.  So I suppose something positive DID come out of being homesick- I realized that I'm a true Minnesotan and that I will never again take my time with my family and friends there for granted.  They are the world to me and even though I'm over 4,000 miles away from them, I still feel a strong connection to my home and the people there.  When I get back early summer I will fully enjoy all the things that I missed so much while abroad and I will never again think about how I'd rather be off on some adventure alone when I could be with the ones that I love.

Minnesota Winter 2008-2009

Friends

The two loves of my life: my boyfriend and Tabby

My family

Los Gitanos/Gypsies

I think when most Americans think of gypsies they picture wandering nomads; a group of Roma people that dresses in a sort of hobo garb, wears exotic-looking jewelry and wanders from place to place.

In Europe the word gypsy has a negative connotation to it.  In fact I heard that France has even started to expel gypsies from their country and that Spain may be next to follow.  In Spain, gypsies are seen as a group that is completely separated from the Spanish culture and people.  When Spanish people talk about gyspies you hear words like, "lazy, dirty, bad, and unemployed."  At first I thought it was just a silly stereotype and even though people said these things, they really didn't mean them.  Wrong.  The majority of Spaniards- people who were born in and live in Spain- don't think too highly of gypsies.  Now I know that every country has their problem with discrimination but in the school system of all places I thought there would NOT be problems with discrimination.  Wrong again.  Across the board, I have heard every professor that I have worked with make a negative comment about the gypsy kids that are in their classes.  In my school there are maybe 1-4 gypsy kids per class.  I personally, cannot always tell which kids are gypsies but they could very broadly be described as having darker skin than Spaniards and different features.

I have heard one of the professors that I work with say verbatim, "He's a bad kid.  He's a gypsy."   After nearly a month on the job and overhearing numerous comments made about these kids I finally played dumb one day and asked one of the professors WHY there was such a negative stereotype against these people.  Her response was that gypsies exclude themselves from the Spanish society.  They don't try to learn the language, they don't work, they don't care about education and they simply follow the norms of their own group of people.  She said that gypsy kids do not care to learn and therefore didn't try.  The gypsy kids, she said, are always the troublemakers, they never pay attention in class and always act out.

In response to her I asked her if it is POSSIBLE that the reason these "gypsy" kids act out is because they are treated differently than the other kids.  You see it is very obvious that teachers here pick favorites.  First are always Spaniards, then Latin Americans, followed by Moroccans and then lastly the gypsies.  The gypsy kids are always overlooked and the teachers never pay attention to them.  My professor said that gypsies don't WANT to be part of the Spanish culture.  She said they purposely exclude themselves and don't speak the language well because they don't want to.  Well than maybe its possible that the reason these kids act this way is because of the self-fulfilling prophecy.  It's simple.  When you predict something will turn out a certain way, you either directly or indirectly CAUSE it to turn out that way.  Therefore, if the gypsy kids are treated differently from the moment they step into kindergarten then in turn they are will act out and become the troublemakers because it was only expected or assumed that they would.  My professor responded that maybe 40 years ago this might have been true but that she had been teaching for 20 years and had always seen the same outcome, regardless of her actions.  She said in the beginning of her teaching career she felt bad for the gypsy kids and actually made an effort to give attention to these kids and not overlook them but that she always saw the same thing happen- they wouldn't try and didn't care.  She said professors simply know that this is going to happen and so don't expect them to succeed and that ultimately it's the gypsies fault because their culture resists immersion into the culture in Spain.

I guess I see both sides of the argument, however, I don't agree with Spaniards.  I think these kids act out and don't try BECAUSE of the way they are treated.  If I was a student and my professor didn't believe I could succeed than I don't think I would believe in myself and of course I would fail.  It's hard being here in Spain and seeing this happen and feeling powerless.  Because regardless of how I may treat these kids it ultimately won't change anything because in the rest of their classes they will be overlooked and ignored by their professors and fellow students.  Therefore, what am I to do?  I've been very torn about this.  I guess the ONLY thing I can do is set an example to not discriminate against this group of students.  So I am going to try my best to give these kids attention and treat them exactly the same as I treat the other students.

After all is said and done I would say this has really become the low-point of my job.  It truly is unfortunate that even in a developed and modern European country like Spain, that this type of discrimination and stereotyping exists in such an obvious way.

Spanish Education and Children

The first day at my school in Madrid- Instituto Gómez Moreno (IES) I was very confused about the levels and stages of the education system in Spain.  After a few weeks here I better understand the levels.

First is Educación Infantil which is essentially like kindergarten for kids age 6.  Next is Educación Primaria which is obligatory and free and it consists of six academic years of school so kids are ages 6-12 years old.  Educación Primaria would be the same as the US- primary school.

Then there is Educación Secundaria Obligatoria (ESO) which is also obligatory and free and consists of four years of education with kids between the ages of 12-16 years old.  This would be comparable to middle school and half of high school in the US.

The last level of education before college is Bachillerato (Bach).  This level is not obligatory and the students in this level must have graduated from Secondary Education.  It consists of two years of education and if the student completes these two years successfully and pasts necessary exams, they may then continue on to the University.  Students in this level are 16-18 years old.  At IES I teach kids in the Primary, Secondary and High school levels.

IES is a public school with a small English Department.  There are students of varying levels of comprehension of english.  For example, some of my primary students seem to have a higher level of comprehension of english than some of the students in Bach.  It's frustrating because even though more advanced levels of english comprehension are separated into classes called Sección, the classes that remain have such different levels of comprehension that it's often very difficult to teach.

Each level of education has a certain number of hours a week of english classes.  I can't say with certainty that I know how many hours each level receives but I believe that the primary levels only have about one to two hours a week of english classes whereas the high school level has about five hours of different classes in english.

Now onto the topic of spanish children.  I would have to say that my first day in class made me realize the lack of discipline of children in the spanish culture.  I have talked to other teaching assistants and they all say the same thing.  It's not that the children are necessarily defiant to their professors, they simply aren't disciplined in the way that many American children are.  Maybe it's the fact that all the teaching assistants I've met, including myself, work in public schools.  I myself, attended a private school from k-8th grade and found that students in my school had much more respect for their teachers.  It's a whole other story here.  Many teachers spend a fourth of the class simply trying to get students to pay attention and to calm down. The kids are rowdy, loud and have more energy than I can even explain.  I thought to myself, "are ALL children this crazy and wild?!" In addition, these kids are not taught to raise their hands because they are often just shouting out what they think.

I've definitely had my good days and my bad days.  The good days are when the students seem excited to learn and excited to specifically learn lessons from me.  The good days are when students see me in the hallway and say "hello" to me and smile.

The bad days, however, were like my last class yesterday (Primero C- primary education, group C).  These kids are something else.  I can pick out about six students from the entire group of 27 and say that these kids actually want to learn and actually understand what I try to teach them AND actually listen to me.  The other 21 students are crazy.  I literally mean insane.  They were standing up, moving around, talking, shouting, passing notes, almost dozing off, you name it.  These 21 didn't seem to care in the least that I was standing in the front of the class and trying to teach them about Thanksgiving or punctuation!  After that class I was so frustrated with those kids.  They simply do not have any respect whatsoever for authority or for their elders for that matter.  These kids are almost impossible to teach.

Even after a few weeks on the job I can say that I definitely have more respect for teachers, especially those who teach young kids.  Teaching anyone under the age of 16 requires a certain level of patience.  Having patience is key on this job!  Lets just hope my level of patience increases rather than decreases on my stay here in Madrid!

El parque de la Dehesa de la Villa

Last friday, November 6th, I decided to go to park located not to far away from my apartment.  I had found out about this park from an interesting circumstance; I was moving into my apartment and my new roommate Pablo had made me come to his work to pick up the keys to the place.  The metro stop near his work was sort of out of the way from the apartment so he told me the quickest way to get back would be to take the number 46 bus rather than hop back on the metro.  He told me that I should signal my stop when I see a gas station on the street of the bus drivers side.  I should have asked him WHAT the gas station was called but I didn't and of course ended up getting lost and had to get off at a random stop and ask a pedestrian on the street where the nearest metro stop was.....seeing as I had come unprepared and had no map of madrid on me!  Though, it must have been fate that I rode that bus because we passed this absolutely beautiful park that had the most interesting-looking trees.  It seemed to be a pretty large park and luckily I saw a sign of the name, so when I finally got to my new apartment I looked up directions to get back there.

So on Friday I decided to go back to the park on my day off.  It was a beautiful day, high 60s, maybe even low 70s and it was sunny with no clouds in the sky.  I got off at the Francos Rodríguez metro stop which is on the same line as my apartment, only five stops away.  I walked around the area for about a half an hour until I finally stumbled upon the entrance of the park.  It was breathtaking.  I had done a little research about the park the night before and had read that in 1152, King Alfonso VII gave these woods to the township of Madrid as hunting and pasturing lands.  Over the years the size of the park had diminished due to Madrid's city council selling or leasing some of the property but after 800 years there was still 60 acres that had survived!

I spent nearly two hours wondering around the park.  It helped clear my head and I realized how much the busy climate of Madrid had been affecting me.  Coming to the park was like an escape from the hectic hustle and bustle of the city.  I was able to breathe, not just physically but mentally.  I felt refreshed and rejuvenated by the time I left.  I know that I will be coming back to this park many more times in the coming months.  It will be my place to take a break and enjoy the scenery of mother nature.  Sometimes something as simple as taking a walk can change your attitude or your mood which is why I am so happy that something good came out of me getting lost.  I discovered this captivating park which helped clear the lingering fog in my head and truly made me appreciate the importance of silence and reflection.

Two weeks after Arriving

Coming back to Spain was very bittersweet for me.  The first time I came here was back in 2005.  My sister Sheri had just finished a summer session of classes in the city of Toledo and I met her in Madrid.  We traveled for roughly two weeks and visited the cities of Toledo, Madrid and Barcelona.  It was my first time out of the country and I was scared of trying new things and seeing new places.  I spent the majority of my time feeling homesick and missing my boyfriend at the time.  When I came home I was full of regret for not having more thoroughly enjoyed the little time I had spent abroad.  I promised myself that I would go back and make sure to not take the experience for granted no matter what happened.

So in 2008 I went back to Spain. This time for not just a few weeks but six months.  I took advantage of the amazing study abroad program at the University of Minnesota and did the same program that my sister did; the Study Abroad Program in Toledo, Spain.  The program made the adjustment into the country very easy.  All the difficult things were taken care of for us.  In addition we lived in the dorms with other Americans and were able to share all of our experiences, both good and bad with our fellow peers and really feel like someone understood where we were coming from.  Studying Abroad in Toledo became the best and most amazing experience of my life.  I enjoyed every single moment of it and savored it to the last minute in the county.  I did not want to go home and wanted to stay in Spain for the rest of my life.  2008 was the year I fell completely and utterly in love with Spain.  I loved everything about it, the culture, the language- the accent, the food, the music, everything.  Being abroad in another country also really opened up my eyes to the amazing places that can be explored outside of the comfort of my city in Minnesota.  I visited numerous cities in Spain, wanting to truly soak up the culture to its fullest.  I went to Segovia, Salamanca, Sevilla, Córdoba, Granada, Málaga, La Ciudad Real, Valencia, Oliva, San Sebastián and of course Madrid and Toledo.  So ever since 2008 Spain has been this perfect memory in my head.  A place of comfort, almost like my second home.  I knew as soon as I came back from studying abroad that I had to find a way to go back.

So here we are now in 2010.  I found a way back to my second homeland through the Auxiliares de Conversación.  A scholarship through the Spanish Ministry of Education.  Auxiliares are essentially teaching assistants for subjects and classes in the english language.  I was assigned to a public 4th-12th grade school in Madrid.  My school is named Instituto Gómez Moreno and has roughly 700 students.  I am a teaching assistant for kids of many different ages and levels of the english language.  The youngest class I teach is age 12 and the oldest class has students up to the age of 18.  The English Department in my school is relatively small- there are only about 8-10 professors.  They teach every different subject in english and myself, or my fellow Auxiliar at the school, Cassandra, are there at their side to help with lessons, questions, and pronunciation.

I arrived on October 23rd.  I flew into Madrid around 9:30pm and had to take a taxi to a hotel that I stayed in the first night.  Plans to stay with another Auxiliar in Madrid for my first night fell through so I literally had one day to search for a hostel in Madrid and finding one for a Saturday night was impossible.  Thus, I stayed in a hotel my first night.  Expensive yet comforting.  The next morning I moved to a hostel in the center of the city.  It was cheap- 13 euro a night but I had to share a room with 4 other people.  The next morning after that- Monday morning I braved the metro alone and went to my school which is located on the outskirts of Madrid.  It was about a 45 minute commute there with transfers on the metro.  I arrived at the gate surrounding the school and had to be buzzed in.  Then the front door was also locked and also had to be buzzed in there.  I asked the front desk for the director of the English Department who was in charge of the Auxiliares at the school.  Little did I know there would be two José Marías!  Luckily, I was directed to the correct one and he greeted me in english and showed me around the school.  It was overwhelming and I was still super jet lag but I managed to get through the first school day.

The first week in Spain was a blur with numerous highs and lows.  The biggest stress seemed to be the fact that I needed to find an apartment as soon as possible because living out of a suitcase was not ideal.  I also had a long list of things to do such as applying for a temporary residence card, get a bank account and get a cell phone.  Coming back this time around required me to be more independent and fend for myself.  It wasn't like study abroad where they take care of everything for you.  I had to find an apartment in a foreign country and simultaneously get in the routine of my new schedule at school.  I felt pushed to the limit of my patience to deal with such a situation.  Before coming to Spain I felt I was invincible.  I had convinced myself that since I had traveled once before alone around a foreign country that I could handle anything.  Wrong.  I guess I would describe my first week in Spain as pretty miserable.  For the first time I felt homesick and missed the efficiency of the United States.  Having to be independent in Spain and deal with adult situations made me realize how efficient the US is and how INefficient Spain is.

A week and a half in I finally started to stabilize.  Instead of having extreme emotional highs and lows I knew that I needed to stay in the middle.  This is the only way to adjust.  Because lets face it, the adjustment period is the most difficult and painful period there is.  Im finally starting to adjust.  Its a slow process but I'm slowly getting there.  I've found an apartment which was the most difficult and stressful feat, I've gotten a cell phone and started my application process for my temporary residence card.  Im also starting to get the hang of being in front of a class of spanish kids who are all staring at me and feel confident with what I am saying.  This is not the time to be intimidated or else you are sure to fail.

In my two weeks so far abroad I've learned a lot about myself.  I've learned that in order to succeed you must keep trying no matter how hard and impossible it seems.  I've learned that there are positives and negatives to every country.  I now see how naive I was about having this idealized vision in my head about Spain.  I also learned that I must not spend my time here being frustrated and homesick.  I must look beyond all the stresses of being independent in a foreign country and simply experience this experience.  To enjoy this experience while fondly remembering everything I left back home.  Because those things will still be there when I return.